Move over perfectionista – there’s a new sheriff in town.
How many times have I not done something, not tried something new, not experimented because I didn’t think I’d do it well enough? More than I care to count.
Part of it is the Nadia Comanici curse…I remember watching her score perfect 10’s in the 1976 summer Olympics. For some reason it really struck me as they were going so crazy that someone so young (14) had accomplished the previously impossible score. So there I was, 10 years old, thinking that had I better get it together. I only had 4 more years to learn how to do something PERFECTLY.
It wasn’t conscious but it did influence me going forward.
I started guitar lessons when I was 13 but quit after 5 months. Because really? Was I going to be perfect at it by the end of the year?
There’s more but I can’t think of it right now. And that’s okay!!!
And I’ll tell you why.
I’ve been curious about starting a blog for reasons I’ll go into another time. Or maybe at in the post. I don’t know!
But – I’ve just started this “blog more, stress less” class and we have committed to write a post each week and post it for our classmates and leader to give us feedback.
“But it’s my first one – if might be really sucky,” I thought to myself. And then had a quick egotistical fantasy of writing a brilliant, poignant, funny, insightful post. One so fabulous I’d be off the hook. I’d be perfect. So there. And I’d also have nothing to learn. Screech of needle across the vinyl…
Some how another voice cut in – and said, “If it’s perfect, you won’t get any constructive comments, won’t know how to make it better and true enough, won’t learn. And then you’ll be terrified the next time you post – ‘what if it’s not perfect and fabulous again?’ ‘what if they find out I’m a fraud?’
And so I just called bullshit on myself and realized that if I post a half-assed blog entry and get some feedback about how to make it better…I win!
I have to be willing to be bad to get good. Taking it one step further, being bad is good. And it took me off the hook.
So here is my maybe crappy post and I don’t care. I may not even post this one for the class, but goddammit, I wrote it.
Watch my dismount – my arms up in the V is definitely a 10!
Now watch me learn…