Recently, I was working with a client*, who was looking to bust a move – she wants change. She has a job she loves, amazing family and friends and contributes to those around her in a big way. AND she wants more money, more abundance, and more freedom.
We started exploring what that would look like. She recalled a period when she had nothing. It was the happiest time of her life.
I could hear it in her voice – the purity of that time.
Then I got one of those intuitive hits – and something felt off – I wondered if there was some sort of disconnect – or subconscious denial of self of having this life of wealth and abundance. After all, if she was the happiest when she had nothing, would having ‘it all’ mean that she would be unhappy?
So we dug a little deeper. What was holding her back from this life she so wanted? We were quiet and waited and then she heard the voice…“You don’t deserve it.” She nearly gasped.
Wow. Whose voice is that? Da-da-da-dum…cue the scary music.
It’s hers. It’s mine. It’s yours. We all have it. That voice, the committee, the critic, the saboteur or the gremlin – the one that says you’re too this, not enough that and that you best not even bother ‘cause it ain’t never gonna happen. It’s the voice that keeps us stuck and stagnant even when we want to change. In fact it gets louder when we start making changes.
So that’s the bummer – because it can stop you dead in your tracks if you listen to it. AND it’s the great thing…because if you hear that noise you can bet you’re getting close to something that’s important. Check out my friend and kick ass coach Andrea Owen’s great post on identifying and managing the voice.
The exercise for my client? I gave her a challenge. In coaching parlance, this is a request for action designed to push a client beyond previously conceived limitations – it often elicits sweaty palms, lurching stomachs and nervous laughter. I asked her to make a list of 250 things that she deserved (I figured a list of 100 would be a great start…). Usually a client will balk at a challenge – and that’s expected – what they actually commit to is much bigger than they would have agreed to in the first place.
We discussed how this could jam the frequencies of the ‘I don’t deserve’ voice. The list could include everything and anything (money, love, laughter, a new car, fresh air, blue skies, swimming in the ocean, etc…) and could have repeats. The idea was to just go for it, start writing, don’t look back or censor and get into the energy of deserving.
Guess what this fabulous client did?
She said yes!
To all 250!!
This is a victory. She is ready for change and ready to change her thinking and expectations of what she deserves. Woo-hoo!!!
A week later she sent me a gorgeous list of items both simple and breath-taking that she is inviting into her life (I won’t disclose her details but change already happening in her world).
When the attitude shifts all things are possible.
Wanna try it? Make a list – of things, experiences, feelings that you want to have – declare what you deserve. Think big and bold and sweet and simple – go for 100! Put them on the wall where you can see them every day and see what happens. I’ll have a second part to this exercise to share next week.
(*Client has given me permission to share.)