The first conversation for Your Recovered Life Series: True Stories from the Future is with the inspiring and inimitable Ellie Schoenberger.
Ellie wears many hats (see bio below) but I think of her most as a woman who takes a stand for bringing alcoholism and recovery out of the shadows – Letting us know that recovery is not only possible but phenomenal and that no matter where you are in the process, you are not alone.
I have admired her work from afar for years and personally known many women whose lives she has touched with her advocacy for telling the truth and taking the shame and stigma out of our addictions. I was thrilled to talk to her for this project and am now honored to call her a friend.
Watch this video – It’s short and sweet and can change your life.
30 One day at a times…
If you can’t spare the 3 minutes and 28 seconds – here are the bullet points:
The next 30 days are going to pass whether you’re doing something to make your life better or not – so why not think about something you have always wanted to try and give it a shot for the next 30 days?
You could try something new or cut out something you don’t want in your life.
Small changes are sustainable – i.e., You don’t have to (and most likely CAN’T) change your whole life in one overwhelming swoop so pick one manageable thing and go from there.
It’s a hot Saturday night in Vegas and I am on my way to a bullsh*t cocktail reception – the start of a 3-day conference with a thousand people I don’t know – small talk and trying not to be shy. Not the best attitude to start this adventure with…
The day started with an easy flight, a great hotel, lunch with friends, body surfing in the pool (gotta love Vegas), and then a thrilling downpour complete with thunder and lightening. It had been FUN and filled with unexpected cool stuff happening yet here I was dreading what was coming next.
A presenter for the evening had written a book about drinking wine to unleash your creativity. When I had seen this listed in the events I thought, “Great, I don’t drink so what are you saying? That I can’t be as creative?”
I’m really building my case for this to suck, huh?
Recently, I was working with a client*, who was looking to bust a move – she wants change. She has a job she loves, amazing family and friends and contributes to those around her in a big way. AND she wants more money, more abundance, and more freedom.
We started exploring what that would look like. She recalled a period when she had nothing. It was the happiest time of her life.
I could hear it in her voice – the purity of that time.
Then I got one of those intuitive hits – and something felt off – I wondered if there was some sort of disconnect – or subconscious denial of self of having this life of wealth and abundance. After all, if she was the happiest when she had nothing, would having ‘it all’ mean that she would be unhappy?
So we dug a little deeper. What was holding her back from this life she so wanted? We were quiet and waited and then she heard the voice…“You don’t deserve it.” She nearly gasped.
I hereby grant Courtney Webster full permission to write whatever the hell she wants on this blog. I have heard her concerns about a distinct ‘voice’ with a consistent ‘theme’ or whatever other well-meaning suggestions/rules/BS she is hiding behind. Hasn’t she listened to herself?
Just. F**king. Write. It.
Listen, honey, the idea is to share what happens when you go for the life you love. A life that is bold and daring and courageous. Remember? A life beyond your wildest dreams? This is your life and your voice. Sure you are exposed but who cares? It’s just a blog!! And it’s part of this life experiment so whoever reads it gets to see what that looks like…so cut the BS and go for it! Stop taking yourself so seriously! Experiment! Have fun!! Write what you like! Share some cool stuff. Let’s see some songs and videos! Post your sweet heart out! See what happens…
Pep talk and ass-kicking over. I see my ride coming. Gotta go…
What permission do you want to grant yourself? Would love to hear about it!
It’s okay not to know. I didn’t always believe this.
I was tortured by not knowing what my ‘thing’ was. What I was here to do. Tortured is a strong word – so let’s call it a consistent, low-grade fever. I thought that since I was asking the question, an answer ought to be forthcoming.
Watching TV I would kick myself for never getting those head shots. I would watch ER and think maybe I should be a doctor or a nurse and when the credits would roll, I’d think I just wasn’t applying myself. I was working in TV production but I wasn’t an Executive or Senior anything!
If I went to a street fair I’d walk by the crafts and question if I was supposed to be making custom window boxes? Decoupaged light plate covers? Hanging beaded candle-holders?
It was exhausting.
I had two successful careers. To the outside world it looked like I was doing great. But there was something missing. I hadn’t felt like I could really go the distance in either of them because, truthfully, I didn’t care enough. And it made me uncomfortable. Was I being lazy? Not giving it my all in a puritan work ethic kind of way? The answer was always, “No.” So then what was the problem?
I bought the books. “I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What Is Was” – “Live The Life You Love” – “What Color Is Your Parachute?”…you get the picture.
But I never read them.
I would start but it just felt too overwhelming. It nearly always involved index cards. I was supposed to start with something I felt passionate about but didn’t have the guts to go after. Or didn’t think going after was a viable option.